2004-09-16 - 5:21 p.m.

I padded the tour with a day on each end in case the shit hit the fan. And it did. Both days.

I get a little paranoid getting on a plane because of all the years of getting hassled over my accordion. I always get a seat near the back of the plane so I can get on first and put my accordion away. I also try to get an aisle seat. I love looking out the window but I also like getting up to pee with ease.

Within two hours of the flight a lady got sick and our route changed to land in Newfoundland. I hope that lady is okay. She's a grandma and grandma's are very important.

From that point I was told by my seatmate that Heathrow had a curfew meaning there were to be no planes making landing noise after 10:30 pm. That meant we would be 2 hours late or 12 hours late.

I watched The Stepford Wives again and then watched some of The Whole Ten Yards. I hate mafia movies and I like Bruce Willis when he's John McClain.

The fellow next to me was reading a world affairs journal and then began writing in his notebook. I looked over his hand and saw "Republican" in the third line. I went back to a nap.

Within an hour of landing I asked if he'd gone to the convention. He had and he worked for the Times. He was very uncomfortable as his knee kept shaking. I dwindled my conversation with him and left him alone.

The plane landed and I waited in line between a guy from "Queer as Folk" and another actor. He other actor was an old man who had been in a lot of movies and I can't remember any of them. He stood up alot from his seat so I had many chances to recall but I couldn't.

I got through customs okay and went to go get my rental car. The offices were closed. So, I waited for the Hertz rental van to pick me up.

I got to Hertz and gave my paperwork and found that I had rented from Dollar. I thought I'd pressed the Hertz button and I was very wrong.

There was no van to Dollar, so the Hertz driver took me to an opening in a fence near a road and pointed to the McDonald's a half mile down the road.

"You should find it at the Sheraton across from that McDonald's."

So, me and my bags trekked to the Dollar.

When I got to the hotel I found the Dollar closed.

I got a car service to the airport.

"The Tube is closed."

"I guess just take me to London."

He took me for a ride and then took me for a ride. Dick.

The best thing about the night was finding my new friends that I didn't know: Emily and Will McBean. They are the loveliest strangers I've ever met. Emily met me at the Tube terminal. We dropped my bags off at their place and I went to Will's work. Will gave me a beer and I drank it like I'd earned it. I hung out and went to bed in London.

I'll never know if the grandma is okay.