2004-01-30 - 4:55 p.m.

I played the Wiltern for New Years and had a really good time. I like playing New Years shows. One year I backed out of playing. I was asked to play Club Clearview with Bowling for Soup for the millennium. I didn�t know how much to ask for the show so I called Jaret of BFS and he said don�t take less than $500 for a New Years Show. That�s for him, not for me. I�d have taken less but I took his advice to the hilt.

Clearview wanted me to be suspended by a harness and come down as the �ball� for the countdown and then play once I hit the ground. I felt a little overcautious since it was going to be Y2K and I'd be an easy target over the city of Dallas. I asked them about the crane operator and felt uneasy about his bio.

I knew it was possible but not likely that I would get hurt. However, the list of ridiculous demands that came to mind begged to be spoken out loud in the chance that maybe they would be met.:

1. I want $2000.

2. I want a bullet-proof vest

3. I want a net

I can�t remember what else I asked. I didn�t really want to play that year. I just wanted to drink and enjoy myself. I used to get real stressed when I played Dallas.

This year was different. I didn�t give a shit what they paid me. I just wanted to play. They did ask me to host and I didn�t want to do it at first. I just wanted to play. But then I reasoned it doesn�t matter. I�ve been playing a long time and anything that comes my way I�ll do a good job.

It turned out to be one of my favorite shows ever.

The line up was this:

Jon Brion

Virgil Shaw

Dios

Patrick Park

Me

Grandaddy

The Polyphonic Spree

I met with the first 3 folks to get a bio on them so that I could introduce them properly. Virgil Shaw was a real nice fellow. I love the way he squeaks when he sings. It�s not annoying. It�s real pretty.

Dios was real good, too. I think they got mad when I said I thought they were a band of Ronnie James Dios. I�m no funnyman and they played nicely.

I asked Jon Brion about what to say about himself. Tim said, �Give him your credentials� and he gave an awkward look and just told me, �I do a show every week in LA at Largo and I�m from NJ.�

Louis, the French horn player of the Spree, is a cool guy. I met him pre-spree at Julliard. I played there (I dropped out of music school) at his invitation. He�s real good with the ladies. He�s like Tommy Boy in the wings scene. He brought a school teacher with him and I wanted him to hang out with me in my room. I was by myself. They were nice company especially when the school teacher passed out on the couch from too much vodka and missed the show.

I hung out with the manager of Grandaddy and he told me some cool stories about working on a fishing boat in Alaska. I love Alaska.

I played my set and killed. My exgirlfriend, a wonderful drunk that night, yelled for me. What a sweet lady. I hung out with her and her husband for a bit. It was a nice reunion. Her brother once slaughtered a pig, cut off his head, placed it on an ant pile, covered it with a bucket and waited. It�s skull became a Harley accessory. I don�t know why I included this part except that he did it all with one arm.

Jon Brion came up to me after I played and said, �I loved your set. It�s nice to see something so refreshing and original. It�s given me another reason to live.�

�Wow. Thanks�

He was real nice.

I hosted a raffle. As a showman, I discourage such as it usually drags a show but I just did my job and had the French metal band, Heavenly, play in the background. I think one guy got real pissed at me cause I didn�t call his ticket number. Some people get real pissed over free shit.

I sat in with the Spree and Grandaddy on Auld Lang Syne and another song and then some Beatles.

Then, I had to kill time in between Grandaddy and Spree�s stage change.

I played We Are the Champions and the crowd liked it. That was the biggest stop on my organ. I can�t top that. But they weren�t ready so I played a Lita Ford cover which wasn�t a good idea. I should have just talked. I felt glorious the whole evening until at the end of the song someone yelled, �Fuck You!� Dear Asshole, Thanks for fucking up my winning streak. I was riding high and you shot me down, fuckdick. I tried not to let it get to me so I said something funny, cause he was a heckler that needed to be put down .Two ways to win:

1. Make him look like an idiot and the audience roots for you

2. Make him laugh.

I did number 2 on him.

I was exhausted by the time I sat in with the Spree. Oh yeah, Patrick Park fucking rules.

Julie noticed I looked tired so I feigned energy and took a ginseng pill from Ricky the Harpist. It was a really good show and we wore technicolor robes. It was a real good time.