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2002-08-16 - 10:08 p.m.

My two Swiss French friends are very good people. One plays stand up bass and the other plays drums. It's hard to talk to them sometimes because of the language barrier but it's my own fault for not speaking French.

I learned some Swiss insults:

Your mother is your father.

Please tell your mother to stop changing lipsticks. My cock is a rainbow.

Even their insults are beautiful.

It's okay to get high in Switzerland. The chocolate, cheese, watches still get made on time; the money in the Swiss bank accounts aren't going anywhere; and taking a bottle of wine to the lake is so yesterday and Weimar. You can buy it at the store.

You can also get a work permit as an artist and be a prostitute. For real!

You can walk around with an open container of beer, too.

But you can't take a shower after 11:00. I can't wait to see "COPS" in Switzerland.

"Yeah, this one's got a lot of soap on him. He's gonna be hard to catch."

 

 

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